Still no baby!
Today I am 9 days over due, or 17 days from my original due date. Still no baby, the babies head still hasn't engaged and still no signs labour is coming.
This has been a very hard pregnancy, with having to quit my job very early on and all the sickness through out and everything else that has gone on, you would think I would be cut a break and the baby would have been born early. I feel as though I am being punished for something and the light at the end of the tunnel seems to be getting smaller and smaller.
My thought pattern originally thought that I had an easy pregnancy with Alyssa and a complicated birth surly this time with a complicated pregnancy I would have an easy birth, but the longer it takes the less likely that is to happen.

Tomorrow I have an appointment with the specialist, I am quite nervous about this as I don't know what he is going to say or where things are at. He might say the baby is still to high and she has had a previous caesarian well just put her in for one now. The other that bothers me is how they will go about the induction and will I be able to cope with the intense pain an induction can bring.

I am also sick and tied of being short tempered, grumpy and cynical. I am rude to almost everyone and that is not who I really am but I can't seem to help it at the moment, the words that some people just think in there heads actually comes out of my mouth and offends people.
And please stop asking if I have had the baby to my face, if I look pregnant and there is no baby around then there is your answer. I know some of you think this is funny (Andrew) but I have to live and struggle with this every day that I am still pregnant and don't need insensitive people to try and be funny.

Well now I'm classed as 3 days overdue. Now I know that doesn't seem like long but when you have been thinking the 9th was the due date, 11 days is a long time.
The upsetting thing is everytime I get my hopes up I see the midwife and she tells me that nothing has changed from the last time she saw me.

I had another appointment with the midwife today and again I got told the babies head still hasn't engaged. She also did another membrane sweep and told me my cervix hasn't changed since Wednesday, it is still long and not even ready for labour.

I have a specialist referral going through for Friday, chances are if I end up being induced I will end up with another c-section which is what I really want to avoid.

I have also started to have nightmares about the birth. Please pray for me to get through this time and have this baby naturally.

I feel all hope is lost for having a natural birth, this baby is not ready or even trying to be ready, and once they start induction there is very little chance left.

little things

Well still no baby.
Yesterday I had a midwife appointment and she decided to do a membrane sweep (for those of you that don't know what I'm talking about, it's best to stay in the dark until you really need to know) and she found out that my cervix still hadn't even begun to ripen, very disappointing, it can mean that labour is still a long way off.

Last night I woke up about 4:00 and couldn't get back to sleep so I grabbed my bible and went into the lounge and read for a little while, I then got on my hands and knees and just let all my emotions fly. I heard a noise and thought that my crying had woken Warwick up so I dried off my face to show that I was fine and nothing was wrong, when I turned around to see who was coming to see me it was my little guardian angel, she didn't say anything, she just smiled at me and climbed on my knee. She gave me the biggest hug and just stayed there wrapped in her blanket, I could have sat there all night but after half an hour I saw my baby girl was very tied so I said it's time to go back to bed, so she hopped off my knee and before she could go back to bed she had to see if daddy was ok. After she had seen daddy she walked off to bed by herself I tucked her in and said goodnight and thanked God for my little girl.
Its amazing how God can use someone so small and precious to make everything seem ok.

On a different note this morning when I got out of the shower I had a show (again if you don't know what that is it's best not to) which means that something is starting to happen, I hope.

Limbo

Well what a frustrating time. I don't know whether or not I'm three days over due or I have five days till my due date. I have 2 due dates which is very frustrating, 1 is my LMP date and the other is the date from the scan. It looks like the scan date is more accurate which is the 17th of Feb, but it is eight days after the original date worked out so that is 8 days of feeling over due.
Waiting, we have everything done, we have brought everything we need and all this was ready by the 2nd of feb so since then its just waiting.
I am getting tied and grumpy easily and snapping at people, and I am being generally quite rude, sorry to all those I have offended but if you can't handle rude comments it might be better not to visit me until after the baby is born. Just think Warwick has to live with the rudeness.
I havent been to church cos I can't stand stupid comments such as so have you had the baby yet. (why yes I have I just left it at home and am wearing a cusion up my top cos I miss having a fat belly) I mean come on people use your brain.

At the moment it feels like this baby is never going to come out, and I have had enough.

I will be much happier when this baby is out

We went to Quail Island yesterday and I had a great time, but I really missed being able to play with my daughter cos I was so sore and worn out. Warwick is great with her but I have been missing out on so much playtime and bonding. Thank you to all those who helped us yesterday.